Sometimes I wonder, If  I will ever find a lover that can give me everything I want.I don’t want to settle and I’m too old to believe in fairy tales. But I still have faith that love with find me and that I shouldn’t waste my life searching. Good things come to those who wait. Being the epitome of the Libra sign, I believe life is all about balance. I don’t want an extreme.  I want a good portion of  everything life has to offer and need that same attitude in a lover. I’ve always dated extreme people and it ended terribly because they can’t understand me. Sometimes I like to party, sometimes I like to stay home, Sometimes I’m conservative, sometimes I’m wild, Sometimes I like to make love, and sometimes I like to fuck. I can’t believe in just one way of life because I see all the possibilities and flaws of any ideology or tradition. A belief could work well for some and not for others.

I’m finding that’s the reason I’m dissatisfied with lovers I’ve had. Because they can live only one way. The world is so big and there is so much to experience. I can’t be trapped in one method of living . I have to be apart of it all. And the only person that can be by my side is some one who is free spirited and open minded. If they see the entire world as an opportunity to explore, that’s the only way they can deal with me and keep my attention. I won’t be judgmental and I won’t succumb to what some call “a traditional life” or a “traditional love”  I need  a love  that frees my soul not confines it!

A Balanced Lover

Tonight
I need to hear I love you
As you passionately undress me
kiss me softly between my breasts
And then down my thighs.
I need that smooth touch that only you can give
Take your time with me .
I want to experience heaven
I want to feel every flicker of your tongue as it
glides across my softest spot
warm and soothing.
I’m raining.
Enter me slowly with deep gentle stokes of love making
while I lay in your arms.
Remind me that I am your future
Infinite…
Hold my hand as your body presses against mine
caress me and stare into my eyes
At that moment when you release in to me
Let your kiss be stronger and tender
Make me feel like I’m more than woman
I’m your lady.

Tonight
After we’ve had too much to drink
Take me home
Make me kneel down in front of you
Force yourself into my mouth
until you are rock hard and throbbing
until I gasp for breath
Force me down on to the floor from behind
then shove into me sending a unforgiving shock through my body
Demand a confession
Make me tell you who’s the best.
Make me scream and cry for you to fuck me
Ask me whose pussy is this
Teach me the pleasure in pain
Thrust deep into every part of me
From front to back.
With every pound, remind me of those days when I can’t stand you and won’t give in,
of every vile word I say out of anger
Express your torment and frustration
exercise your rage
I want my legs and your shoulders to meet
So that I have to accept every inch of you
Make me constrict so tightly that it feels as if my body is sucking you
I want your taste to explode on to my lips
Prove to me the strength of a man

Give me what I need the most
Every thought
Every experience
Every emotion
I want you to lust me
I want you to love me
I want to be the conventional and the inappropriate
The pride and the secret
the conformist and the explicit
the proper and the dirty
The fantasy and the reality
I want to be the balance
I want to be, your everything

Last night
I wanted you to come over
But I lost my nerve
for the fear of you  ruining it
With conversation and interrogation
on who was here the night before
Which was no one
But why do I have to explain.
If you just can open my door with no will to speak
and find your way to me in the darkness
Then I’ll light a candle
and watch you undress
Touching myself as every piece of clothing drops to the floor
Please just stand there in the moonlight
Speechless
Only sounds are my breath racing faster as my finger beats my clit like a drum
Let your teeth be  the only part of you
Contacting
My body
Clinching my breast
tightly as I descend into heaven
With no mumble or sputter you lay beside me as you’re stroking solo. The cream that I crave releases and pours out on to the sheets which I sleep on.
This way you will be all over me as I toss and turn through the night.
If you can just give me this one request of silence
I’ll invite you over.

So Jonathan and I were having our usual sex conversation for lunch. And today’s convo is about how boring most peoples sex lives are. My input is that most people are so scared to admit their sexuality because of what they think society will say about them. If men keep calling women derogatory names, spreading rumors, and ridiculing women every time they do something sexual, it causes women to be very cautious and clam up when it comes to having uninhibited sex. That’s why so many women make it hard for a man to get a little action from them because they are scared of the reputation that will come from it. Basically, men need to shut the hell up! You are the reason why you are not having the crazy, exciting, mind blowing sex you could have. No woman wants to be ridiculed or talked about when it comes to her bedroom behavior.

It’s 2011,  sex should no longer be taboo. But, it’s because of how society makes it seem like the filthiest disgusting thing you can do; when sex is a natural human emotion. People have been fucking all kinds of ways since the beginning of time. If a man is talking negative about other women in front of a woman, he has just scared her to death. She doesn’t want the same thing to be said about her so she keeps her nasty freak to herself. What girl  wants to suck your dick if you just called another woman a nasty trick because she likes to give blow jobs? Duh!

We need to learn how to embrace and respect sex. Or, we will keep having boring sex lives with our mates. Dozens of  men sneak outside their marriage because they keep running their mouths and putting all these stereotypes on sex or  women who are sexually open causing their wives to stress out and not want to get nasty. So these men have to fuck every other woman to get that freak he is missing at home! I’ve heard on T.V., music, and in person these desires by men to marry a real freaky girl but can’t find her. In the same breath, call women who are freaky nasty names. Well now you see why you can’t find her idiot. Your fucking mouth is the problem.

Granted women talk alot, but that is well known about women. It makes men look like chatty bitches if they tell what goes down in their bedroom. And no man loving woman wants to fuck a chatty bitch! IF you men are all about the sex like you say you are then you would keep quiet to continue getting the sex!

You have these men who talk shit about a woman is a dumb hoe if she is open about sex. Keep on and you will be the ones marrying Mrs. Frigid who only fucks you in the beginning to get the ring. And as soon as you walk down the aisle the sex comes to a stop! Happens a lot! Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? Because women are not the freaks they need to be to keep their husbands from wandering outside the home! You do have women who are not sexual and these dumb ass immature boys marry them because of the traditional bullshit they have been taught and end up miserable and unhappy. MEN NEED SEX PERIOD! They require blow jobs on the regular. If women and men were more realistic about sex, we wouldn’t need prostitutes who have to do the dirty job!

Keep associating good or bad girls with sexual activity and these scary frigid women  are what you’ll  keep getting! Just stupid! If men would shut the fuck up and only talk about sex in a positive way, more women would feel comfortable and would give more sex without a lot of “relationship” red tape. There are a lot a women who don’t really want a commitment, however have to play that game because of fear of being labeled. A woman sometimes just want to suck and fuck the hell out of a man, but refrain because she knows that the whole city will find out!

You dumb ass little boys think that us women don’t know you sit around and talk about us? You’re crazy!  My blog mates and I have made a profession out of it! We don’t care what you say.We are open about our sexual activity. But, a lot of other  women do care!

Calling women names like chicken head, hoe, trick, skeezer just contributes to younger women hating sexuality and as they mature it gets worse. I’ve had it happen to me where I liked a guy so much that I wanted to be freaky but his damn mouth stood in the way and I just gave up on his rude ass. I mean I was sitting there mouth and pussy wet and he just kept talking shit. Talked his self right out of a blow job! He was fine as hell and I wanted to freak the shit out of him but he kept interrogating me and I could tell him and his little silly boyfriends were talking about me. All he got was some so so sex and that was it! No freaky shit at all!

As much as us feminist don’t like to admit it, the world still is led by the actions of men. If they continue to be disrespectful and hurtful women will continue to fear sex. And who suffers the most? The men and their dicks!

I’m involved with a jealous, aggressive man. This is a new experience for me. My girl, advised me, if I wanted to have the best sex of my life then I should aggravate his angry side. It seems to be the theme of the blogs this week. So I conference called some of my other girlfriends to hear their opinions on provoking a man’s jealousy. These three are all in serious relationships, and they all agreed their men fuck better when they think another man is invading their territory. They encouraged me to try it and see what happens. Women!  I usually don’t play these types of games. I don’t like anger and hostility. But, I was kind of curious.

His sex is fantastic when he is in a good mood, so I could only imagine his feisty side.  I was guaranteed his angry sex is like walking on the moon. So I called the expert to devise the perfect plan to extract the beast within. We talked for two hours about the scenario. I was confident that I could carry out the plan exactly. She can piss a man of like no other. I’ve seen it, so I knew it would work.

I  invited him to go dancing with me and a couple of friends. What he didn’t know is my ex boyfriend who I still fuck from time to time D.J.s at the club we were going to. My ex  likes to approach me when I’m with a date so it was a perfect plot.  I never wear panties when I go out. I don’t see the point when they’re coming off anyways. But I was instructed that I had to wear a cheap pair of black underwear accompanied by a bra. Seems like a lot for me, but it was  for him to have more to tear off during his rage. Once the security alerted me that he was on his way up, I took a deep breath and eased into character. My Iphone buzzing like crazy with text messages “You can do this girl, Game on!”

As soon as we entered into the club, I pushed through the crowd reaching the D.J. both. My ex cued right on time. He came down to greet me with an inappropriate hug which I continued with a kiss on the cheek. Being that my lover is Italian, it doesn’t take much for him to get heated. But, he was trying to play it cool.  So I decided to raise the stakes, I bought him a bottle of  patron  and then  I started to ignore him while talking and dancing with my ex and his friends. Yeah, that’s was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He started shoving through the crowd quickly. Next thing I knew, he grabbed my arm and forced me out of the club yelling “It’s time to go! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I acted surprised like I didn’t have a clue of what was going on.

We argued the entire time in the cab. Drunk and dazed, he chased me through the lobby and into the elevator. The plan was in effect. The elevator ride couldn’t get any better. He ripped my panties as expected. I wondered if the security camera was recording while he was licking my pussy. Of course I had to play like I didn’t want it. I put up a fight, I screamed no as much as possible until we reached my floor. I told him he couldn’t come in, yeah right! I tried to close the door; he forced his way in and grabbed me by the hair forcing me down on the floor. This man is like a movie fantasy. He made me ride him as he held  my neck and put his fingers in my mouth. Every thing he said was like a script in a heated hot movie scene. “Yeah bitch, you like it!” Yeah ride that dick!” Damn! Where does he get the energy to keep going for hours? Wow! What can I  say except angry sex is the shit! I’ve been missing out! I called to tell the girls the next morning once he left. Their response was “I told you so!” I guess jealousy in a man is sexy.

You are not afraid

of expressing your feelings

When you fall,

you descend deep

intensely

And you prefer

to make love

genuinely

With every touch

your heart is in it

You unselfishly

give your emotions

You want to be held and caressed

by somebody who has dedicated their soul

That  someone

who you can trust and let go

of that defense you’ve built

In their eyes

you see your future

your home

your babies

your salvation

Someone to be by your side

and will hold your hand through

time and space

You don’t listen to or change with the world

You haven’t lost the battle to  cynicism

You know that some where out there

they live and breathe

You’re a dreamer

a visionary of love

a hopeless  romantic

And you desire

love making to be

apart of something greater

than the now

It’s more of a contribution

to forever

You’re waiting patiently

for that perfect heart

And not just anybody

can give you what you want

It takes a dedicated soul

for that kind of matrimony

You are proud of being traditional

and sentimental

You want to be loved with a love

more than love

To wake up and fall asleep in their arms

you want each day to begin and end

maturing that devotion

And you prefer

to make love only

to someone who’s willing to

give themselves completely

I understand your needs

I feel for you

How lonely it must

be

To want something greater

then temporary bliss

a momentary need

You’re longing for the companion

that the universe created just for you

Never give up

Don’t lose faith

I know you prefer only

to make love to

the one who’ll be eternally true

and will confess it to the world

I haven’t forgotten what it feels like

to want something so badly

To feel empty and alone

night after night

A time will come

when everything will work out right

To the ones who are crusaders of

real love

Longing for their soul mates touch

They hurt and grieve

Those who aren’t interested in transitory

or an effortless rendezvous

Those who still believe

I wrote this one for you…..

You’ve been a bad boy

Naughty

Nasty

Undeserving

I’m going to sit on the edge of this chair

While you stare

From across the room

Don’t you come close to me

Don’t you dare

Touch me

You need to be disciplined

Punished

Watch me

as I slightly lift my dress

In the dim light

I open my legs

Lick your lips in lust

As my thighs open and close

Play it off

Be discreet

As the crowd

Sways to the music

You want to taste it

Don’t you

Get it wet and slippery

….Oooh

it purrrrs

Too bad you can’t kiss it

You want to enter me

I won’t allow you to

Feel it

Wrapping tightly around

swallowing you down

Hell no

You can’t have it

I want you to suffer

It’s torture to listen

as it whispers

calling your name

Around me

you just can’t help yourself

And I find satisfaction in your torment

Look at it

Teasing you

The soft pink and brown lips

Puckering

Ready to be sipped

The way only you can

I’m going to make you beg for it

On your knees

Cry for redemption

Ask for my forgiveness

Come on where’s your courage?

Chase it

Hunt it

in persistence

Until you attempt to take it

Steal it

sexually ambush me

Don’t take no for an answer

Try again until you succeed

Convince me to let you in

persuade me that it’s yours

and your claim is valid

Find the sweetest words

To lure me some where

We can be alone

Master a plan of seduction

tempt me

Like sugar

Melt my resistance

Tell me you appreciate it

How I’m always in your thoughts

and secretly

you worship me

Confess how badly you need it

And no other woman

can handle that dick like I can

Pull me close

never letting go

And just possibly

I’ll let you

Even after the stupid shit you say and do

Maybe I’ll consider the possibilities

Even though you have a fucked up attitude

Plead your case that you are better than any other man

I’m waiting for you to get it right

And perhaps I will let you make love to me

Tonight