We stay in on days like this. Her boyfriend calls and tells her that he’ll come over later, when the weather calms down. My lover works until 10 and has a term paper due on Monday. The rain’s falls heavily against the window. The dorm hallways are quiet with no one in sight. The air never seems to work properly. The heat is unbearable causing us to strip down to our underwear.We open the bottle of Patron stashed under my bed, take a shot,  and surf porn sites on the internet to keep things interesting. This happens every stormy afternoon after drinking Tequila. I feel the sudden urge of drunken horniness from watching video after video of hot sex.  We take another shot; she kisses me, and slides her fingers into my panties. I’m soaking wet as her fingers rotate around my soft spot. I lift her up onto the desk , remove her panties, and  bury my face deep between her legs. I taste her until she cums. She goes to her side of the room to find the half smoked joint from last week’s party. We grab our raincoats, and head to the roof.

Once we’re on the roof, we take a hit of the joint, and try to stay dry in the stairwell door way. She pulls me inside and leans me up against the wall next to the stairs. She kneels down and places one of my legs on the rail. She invades me with her hands while she licks my soft spot. Her fingers thrust harder until I climax. It’s still pouring down outside. We return to our room, curl up in my bed, and sleep the remainder of the day

We all met up over in Central Park for Memorial Day. It was fun hanging with my girls and flirting with some sexy ass men. It was perfect afternoon getting to know new faces. However, at dinner tonight, Janet introduced me to a potential new new with all the qualities I liked. We broke off from the crowd for some one on one time, to get to know each other.  The music was right and the liquor too. But when he reached out and placed his hands on my thighs I froze up. Of course, he tried to come closer for a kiss, but I stopped him. You see my heart still belongs to the king. And, the thought of another man’s hands all over me….well.. I just can’t do it.

I told him I wasn’t ready yet. He returned to hang with the others and I went into J’s bedroom to be alone. I lay across the bed half drunk, touching myself while thinking of my lover. I wanted to be kneeling in front of him, tasting him.  I miss his flavor on my lips and my tongue running up and down his thighs. I miss his hands in my hair and the way he moans when he’s about to climax. I could please him for hours at a time.

I love how he used to come over to my house and sit in the chair watching the game. He would call me over to stand infront of him, remove my panties, and stick his hand under my gown; then continue watching T.V. Or sometimes, when I was in the kitchen, he would pick me up and fuck me on the counter…hmm..

Tonight I’m in bed alone again..I guess J’s right, I’m dick whipped

I never thought I would be happy in a relationship. In fact, I had given up hope that I would meet a man that would understand what I wanted. But when I met the king, he did everything right to keep me continuously falling in love with him. His technique was simple, he treated me like just his lady; and that’s all he expected out of me. He understood I needed a man who gave me a stress free life for once. He didn’t want me to be his counselor and listen to all his life problems, his mama and nurturer, his personal maid and chef (even though I didn’t mind that), He didn’t expect me to act all fake and conservative, He didn’t want me to be a friend to all his ex- girlfriends; and he didn’t bring unnecessary drama into our lives. In fact, I never heard about his previous relationships at all. So I didn’t feel the need to dig into my past anymore either.

All he wanted me to do was be his lover, the right way. And in return, I was proud to call him my man. I wanted to take care of him and love him. I enjoyed having one position in his life. He kept me sexually attracted to him and full of energy; sometimes, less his more. Because he wasn’t demanding, with a mandatory list of what a woman needs to do, he got what he wanted. Isn’t that funny, that he actually got the best out of me by doing the total opposite of what most men think they should do? He genuinely loved me and had no undermining motives.

Because he was such a man in our relationship, I wanted to make sure I was doing everything to keep him happy. Every night I would massage his back. And I felt like it was my duty, my pleasure, to make love to him 7 days a week. He appreciated and encouraged my freak.  I wanted to keep myself looking good and sexy. And I loved how he treated my girlfriends. He loved flirting and taking care of them. However, he always made me feel that his heart was mine.

I didn’t mind him taking the lead role because I never felt like he didn’t consider what was in my best interest. I listened to him and made sure he knew his voice was heard. I had his back and he had mine. I was sincerely happy because he was totally different than what I was used to. He was really a king that was looking for a queen not a servant. The mistakes he made were small.  Honestly, I never was mad long. We had so much fun traveling to the keys for getaway weekends. I was in a young adult’s relationship with a man who wanted to see me enjoy my life. I wasn’t with a man who had mother issues and was looking for a replacement for her. He left all his baggage at the door and started fresh with our relationship. I appreciate you king. All the good in you has changed my life and made me into a better woman.

At First I didn’t Love You
Created by xCloudxGirlx

At first I didn’t love you
As of now I’m sure I do
This feeling feels so different
But it’s cause their with you

The one before you hurt me
The one that didn’t care
He made my life uneasy
He made my life unfair
But I can see you’re different
And I can see you’re true
There’s just something in your spirit
That just keeps shining through
I don’t know what it is
And I don’t know what to do
My feelings all are funny
And I think I’m quite confused
Because every time I see your face
Or even when I don’t
There always seems to be a trace
Of you every where I go
Sara thinks it’s funny
And Chris does think this too
And me I think  its interesting
That I fell in love with you

I sit here somewhere between exhaustion and restlessness
Another heartbroken sleepless night in this new city I love
I’m not one for regret, but sacrificing you could be my biggest mistake yet
Will I ever meet another man like you? Probably not
How you impressed me.
The way you can dance along the edge but never lose yourself
I’ve never met a man that could keep up with me
Live wild and freely but only in small doses
We stood at the cross roads, not persuaded by any extremes
Flirting with enticement
But always keeping our balance
We enjoyed tasting the seduction of life
But never overindulging
Most men could only wear one mask
Playing it safe or completely dangerous
But you know just when to pull back
and come in from the game.
We could lie in bed night after night
For weeks at a time and the outside world
Didn’t cross our minds
OR we felt a sudden urge of energy to dance
In the dims lights of our favorite places
For as long as we felt the need

We never once listened to the criticism that our years of freedom had past
We didn’t care if our spectators couldn’t understand that there is a happy medium
Most men could not handle tasting a variety of lifestyles.
Most become addicted and lose control
They have to turn their backs on decadence all together
Run and hiding
Living every day in fear of temptation
But not you
You drink until you’ve had your fill
And so do I
And once we reach our moderate levels
We retire and drink no more

It’s been raining for the last couple of days. The stormy weather is pure seduction for me. However, since my break up with the king, I decided to take a break for a while. I’m still longing for his touch. And, the man has me so whipped sexually, it’s going to be hard for another man to compete.  So as the rain falls outside my window, I depend on my new fantasies to keep me wet.

For some time now, I’ve wanted to date a police officer. The uniform and handcuffs turn me on. I’ve fantasized about being man handled and frisked.  The way I imagine it, I meet this incredibly sexy tall and lean officer. He tells  me I have no other choice but to give him my phone number. I try to play hard to get for a couple of weeks by emailing him nasty thoughts spontaneously. I call him in the middle of the night as I touch myself, I let him hear me climax, hang up, and I don’t answer when he tries to call back.

Finally, I send him a text to meet me at a quiet restaurant in Soho. He sits down at the table and I sit down next to him. I reach my hand under the table, unzip his pants, and caress him until his hard. I kiss him on his neck softly and whisper in his ear. He wants to touch me, but I won’t let him. I tell him that I don’t have on any underwear. He doesn’t believe me until I prove it. I lift up the long white cotton dress and slightly open my legs just enough for only his eyes.

He tries to hurry dinner, but I sip my wine slowly. He knows I’m teasing him and it drives him insane. I like that. The rain begins to fall; and we have no umbrellas or raincoats. I tell him its better this way, I’m not afraid of getting wet. The moisture covers my dress, causing it to cling to my body. Images of my breast and ass peek through. The preview keeps his mind off the long walk to my apartment. Once we arrive at the tall sliding glass doors of the lobby, I try to kiss him goodnight. But, he pulls me close and forces his way into the building. He pushes me up against the wall and tells me I have a right to remain silent. He takes out his handcuffs and places my arms over my head. He doesn’t care if my neighbors walk in and neither do I. He kisses my lips, my neck, and unbuttons my dress. His mouth is on my breast as he lifts me in the air. He is so hard. He pushes his self into me causing me scream. My voice echos in the ceiling of the lobby. He stops himself, he’s not ready to cum; not like this. He puts me down and removes the handcuffs. He pushes me towards the elevator.  I beg him to stop, I try to resist but I really want him to continue. His fingers invade me while we kiss from the 1^st to the 8^th floor.

We enter my apartment. He pushes my face first up against the wall and makes me spread my legs. He kisses my back as he frisks the rest of my body with his strong hands.  I break free and run to the bedroom. He quickly follows. He grabs hold of me and throws me on the bed.  “I’ll show you what happens when bad bitches resist arrest,” he says. He rips off my dress, turns me over on to my stomach and places my hands back over my head; and uses the handcuffs again.  He undresses and thrusts himself deep inside me. He pulls me hair and smacks my ass while he whispers how tight it is. He leans down and kisses me. He pushes in as hard as he can. It causes me to continuously climax. He tries to hold back, but he can’t help it; he cums. “Damn that was good,” I moan. He responds, “It’s not over yet. It’s still raining.”

I know I said I wouldn’t write another blog for awhile. But there are so many memories the king and I shared that I can’t get of my mind.

Once the king and I were free to date openly, I invited him to a romantic dinner at the Viceroy Miami. I never volunteered to take a man out to dinner, this was new. It was time to get down to business. On most traditional dates, the female starts interviewing the man to see if he meets her criteria. However, over the last few years that shit hasn’t worked for me. Because I’ve learned most men don’t give honest answers.  So I decided instead of me giving him an application, tonight I was giving him my resume. I wanted to lay everything on the table to make sure he could handle me and my lifestyle. I’m too old to keep getting involved with men that I have nothing in common with.

First thing first, I  quickly swallowed down the first Caphrihini to ease my fear.  I ordered him two shots of Patron and a Manhattan; hoping that what I was about to say wouldn’t make him think any less of me like most men would have. “Look I’m not going to wait any longer, I said.  I need to know if you can handle me and what I want. We are living in a city where women are comfortable being sexually oppressed and undercover. They live in constant shame when it comes to sex and passion. That is definitely not me. I have to make sure you understand the kind of woman you’re getting involved with right now since I come from a different lifestyle entirely. I’m no prostitute or porno star. However, sex and sexuality are an important part of my life.  I brought this application for a lover. This time  I’m going to complete it instead of asking you to. I want you to review it, ask me any question you may have, and tell me how you truly feel.”  “ Well go ahead, let’s get this over with,” he laughed

There was only one question on the application: In your own words tell me exactly who you are in extensive detail. Nervous and trembling, I tried to be as honest as possible. This was crucial to me because I couldn’t bare one more horrible love affair with another incompatible moron. I started to write:

“I’m a woman with a good sense of who I am and what I want out of life. I’m extremely sexual, I like that quality about myself. I make love to who I want to when I want to. My girlfriends and I are in a never ending love affair. I love to have sex for hours at a time. I have to be pleased sexually before I will even consider being in love. I have to be with a man who respects me and my decisions. I want a sophisticated lifestyle that includes sensuality. I will not separate the two. Even though I’m fun, witty, and a little silly at times; I’m nobody’s fool. I’m bold, mouthy, and opinionated. I have no problem telling a person how I feel when I feel it. I’m independent and strong. I can fight my own battles and I don’t take shit off of anyone. I don’t like to be bossed around and told what to do especially by a man I don’t love.  If a person disrespects me and becomes too demanding, there will be hell to pay. Hell has no fury as this woman scorned. If the right man comes along that appreciates the good in me and treats me like I want to be treated; I will love him undeniably and do whatever it takes to please him. Believe me our life together will never lack true pleasure. I’m a spontaneous, adventurous, and loyal lover. I keep it sexy and intriguing. I’m not jealous or possessive. Every now and then, I like to share my man with friends. I enjoy the finer things in life and won’t settle for less any longer. I’m not conventional or extremely traditional. I believe all women are free to live how we choose. I will always stay true to myself first. I’m not changing my core beliefs to keep a man. Self-love is more important than anything.”

Once he finished reading, he smiled. “That’s it?” he asked. “I think I love you already” “Yeah ok, I responded. That’s what all men say. Let’s see if you can make it through the five hour audition tonight.” “I was hoping my audition was tonight. Let’s go, he said.”

Our beds,
Like a universe that is a calm medium
between the fiery worlds of the male and female

He could make me so angry at times
And, I would wait until Friday
Get all dressed up and step out on the town
That phone seemed to ring and ring
Until it gave up and died
I would twirl around that club
Intoxicated
One drink
Then two
Only keeping a slight portion of consciousness
Enough to guide me safely to his door

And he knew I would come
He holds my heart captive
Entangled in his spell
It’s like without him
I’m an empty shell
And when he kisses my lips
life begins
I can’t sleep if I’m not wrapped in his embrace
I creep into the room
He lies there pretending
He’s naked because he knows that bare image of him is my weakness
I undress hoping he’s watching
I crawl up and kiss his inner thigh
I lay my head there and close my eyes
Suddenly I forget my anger
I whisper “ I love you “
He opens his eyes and speaks
“prove it”

Our beds,
Like a universe that is a calm medium
between the fiery worlds of the male and female

I’m as bold with my tongue as I am with the technique of my sex
I lash a vicious weapon of words hoping to pierce his heart
His temper boils
He storms out enraged by the verbal abuse I inflict
He won’t answer my calls
ignores my texts
The tears role down my cheeks because I can’t stand for him to avoid me
Anyone else could do the same thing and it wouldn’t matter
but not him.
He enjoys his night out with the boys
laughing and flirting with other women
It’s 3 a.m. and I can’t sleep
without his hands between my legs and his breath on my neck
And he knows I’m waiting
I make sure that I’m wearing his favorite panties and perfume
He always likes to have something to take off
Makes him feel in control
And I know he’s coming over
His heart is here with me
intertwined in the vines of my love

He staggers in drunk
smiling
He begins to kiss down the curve of my body
His lips graze my ankle and I melt like sugar
He whispers I’m sorry
and I respond so am I
Sometimes we have the most intense make up sex
and I’m pleasured
But my favorite is those other times when he just falls asleep in my arms
And for me
That’s proof

 I never cared much for kissing. But I’ve never seriously been in love like this. The king and I spent a night alone while he was here. We had serious business to attend to. That business was me running away from him. I was fully dressed, make up, Louboutins , everything. Before we could make it to dinner, before I could make it out the door, He stripped me down naked and threw me on the bed. Maybe it was the 2 strawberry martini’s I drank, but I burst into tears. I rarely cry from love. But then again, when am I in love? He began to kiss me and it was like I felt something for the first time.

Have you ever mad love while crying. That shit has an effect on you, like your senses are heightened. I cried and it wasn’t not from pain but because I loved this person for real this time. However, I knew he couldn’t be the father of my children or even my husband. What could come from loving someone living a life that was contradictory from my own? But this man loved me the way I was. He embraced my sexuality, my feisty attitude , my bold somewhat naïve personality. We were phenomenal together. I was happy for once. Every time I was intimate with him, I made love to him. Afterwards, I lay in his arms and I felt safe. I knew he loved me in return. He was my protector and it felt good. Now, I had to let go

That night, he made love to me with everything he had in him. With each stroke, I let him know that it was his. It’s true what they say, sex is better when your heart is in it. My orgasm reached a new high. I wanted to give up and be his forever. I underestimated love or anything that has to do with it. The things I whispered in his ear while he was on top of me. I cried his name like it was the only word I knew. Why did this have to be so hard? God for once I wanted to give it all to a man. I didn’t care about the shit he had or what he’d done.

When we finally got to the airport, I told him it wasn’t over. But I knew it was for me. I realized I’m as sentimental as any other woman. I wanted a family with him. In his eyes I saw my children. But, was that actually possible?

I hurried back to Danny’s and called J to come over. They both held me while I cried. I don’t know what I would’ve done without them. He was the first real heartbreak. For the first time, I accepted reality.I haven’t fully recovered. I don’t know if I ever will.  At least, I have friends who care about me.

Because of Janet’s persistent sweet talking, I decided at the last minute to pack up and move to Manhattan. Even though it was the best decision to end my wild and scandalous love affair with the king, I couldn’t get him out of my mind. I was thinking of hooking up with other men before I left to get back to my normal bad girl ways. But, unfortunately, nothing happened. I left town carrying all of my emotions for him with me.

I never told him, I was leaving. I didn’t want him rushing over to my place and making a scene. I figured it would be easier on both of our hearts to tell him once I arrived in New York. During the trip, he continually called; but, I didn’t answer. Finally, I text him while lying in bed in my new place; “I’ve moved to Manhattan, goodbye. I love you.” He text back, “wtf are you talking about?” I never responded. It was hard enough leaving in the first place.

A week and a billion unanswered calls later, I received a text “I’m at Laguardia, come pick me up.” He actually came after me. Of course, I called him to confirm. He was extremely irate, so I asked Sandra and Janet to come with me. I left the girls in the taxi and went into the airport alone. As soon as he saw me, he grabbed me around the neck and said “you are out of your fucking mind!” I smiled, “Yep! I miss riding you” Seems that calmed him right down “Oh you’re riding this dick tonight, I guarantee that! Lets go!” he responded.

Finally, he met the girls. Just like me, they fell for his charm instantly. “You don’t look like any bad boys I know. You look innocent. Are you a wannabe?” said Sandra. “Oh you wanna find out tonight? First I’ll punish your girl, then you,” he responded. That was the beginning of my second fabulous weekend in New York.

We stopped at one of the bars on 3rd ave to have a drink. “First question, how the fuck are you gonna move to Manhattan and not tell me shit?” he asked. “Like, what the fuck are you thinking?” The entire table was completely silent. “ I thought it was best.” I responded, “I needed to move on.” In my mind, the real answer was, we need to move on before I end up pregnant. He and I aren’t married. And, at my age, I’m not having an abortion. Especially if I’m in love with the man. I wasn’t trying to put myself in that situation. As much as we made love, it was bound to end up that way. Especially since I was sincerely happy every moment we were together. I never was stressed out or depressed. I knew that out of love a child would be conceived. Honestly, he isn’t father material right now. Escaping Florida was the best way out. Besides, even at 31, I don’t think I’m ready to be a mother. It’s so much I haven’t done yet. And, the way L.S. is taking off, I don’t think I want to give that up. Also, we would have to be married before the baby’s born.

One of Sandra’s lovers called her and she soon left us. It was just he King, Janet, and I. We crashed at J’s place for the night. As soon as we walked in the door, the festivities began. I started with the music to set the scene while J opened the wine. I walked over to the large window facing Central Park, and begin to undress. “Lets take a hot shower together” I suggested. J lit the candles while I unbuttoned her shirt. Janet grabbed his hands and put them between her legs and I kissed his lips. Then, he followed us into the bathroom, and we got into the shower. We washed his body from head to toe. Too bad New York showers are the size of shoe boxes. It would’ve been nice to watch my best friend and my man make love under the running water. But, it was too uncomfortable, so we dried off and got into bed.

The night ended perfectly, lying next to my best friend with my man on top of me. We three made love until early the next morning. The remaining of the weekend we spent together enjoying the city. This was the perfect beginning of my life in Manhattan. A fresh start is what I needed. I feel privileged to have these people in my life to share the experience.

I want to start this blog by saying …Hell no I’m not a stripper. So let’s get the lies out the way. However, there is this stripper pole dancing class that I’ve stopped in on every once and awhile to learn some sexy moves for the bedroom. Since I have a man in my life these days, I want to keep him turned on and coming back for more. I care about him and he keeps me wet, so I like to do all the sexy things I can for him. That’s why I’m considering getting a pole in my bedroom. I want to give him his own private show any time he requests it.  We‘ve been to strip clubs together and I see how much he enjoys it.I think it’s very sexy when a couple explores a diverse variety of sexuality.

I ordered a portable sexy pink stripper pole from Healthyandactive.com. Of course, I had to go out and by the 7 inch come fuck me stripper shoes and make a special trip to Victoria Secret. Once I received my pole, I planned a hot and sexy night with my man. I went to the spa and got my usual body scrub and moisturizer. The body was soft and perfumed, the pole was set up , the candles lit, and the wine was ready to go.  Now it was time to choose the music before I received the call from security downstairs to let me know my baby was waiting. I figure I would start with Beyonce, then who knows. Just as long as we both end up naked and climaxing by the end of the night.

He knocked on the door and I answered in full costume. Then I led him to my bedroom, and then sat him down in the chair in front of the pole. The music was on and now it was time for me to put on a show. As soon as I climbed that pole and bent over, he couldn’t resist reaching out to touch. But, I wouldn’t let him until my dance was over. I removed my bodysuit but kept on my heels. I completely undressed him for a full contact lap dance. Well the night ended like I planned.  Anything for my man…