The Lover Application and Audition

I know I said I wouldn’t write another blog for awhile. But there are so many memories the king and I shared that I can’t get of my mind.

Once the king and I were free to date openly, I invited him to a romantic dinner at the Viceroy Miami. I never volunteered to take a man out to dinner, this was new. It was time to get down to business. On most traditional dates, the female starts interviewing the man to see if he meets her criteria. However, over the last few years that shit hasn’t worked for me. Because I’ve learned most men don’t give honest answers.  So I decided instead of me giving him an application, tonight I was giving him my resume. I wanted to lay everything on the table to make sure he could handle me and my lifestyle. I’m too old to keep getting involved with men that I have nothing in common with.

First thing first, I  quickly swallowed down the first Caphrihini to ease my fear.  I ordered him two shots of Patron and a Manhattan; hoping that what I was about to say wouldn’t make him think any less of me like most men would have. “Look I’m not going to wait any longer, I said.  I need to know if you can handle me and what I want. We are living in a city where women are comfortable being sexually oppressed and undercover. They live in constant shame when it comes to sex and passion. That is definitely not me. I have to make sure you understand the kind of woman you’re getting involved with right now since I come from a different lifestyle entirely. I’m no prostitute or porno star. However, sex and sexuality are an important part of my life.  I brought this application for a lover. This time  I’m going to complete it instead of asking you to. I want you to review it, ask me any question you may have, and tell me how you truly feel.”  “ Well go ahead, let’s get this over with,” he laughed

There was only one question on the application: In your own words tell me exactly who you are in extensive detail. Nervous and trembling, I tried to be as honest as possible. This was crucial to me because I couldn’t bare one more horrible love affair with another incompatible moron. I started to write:

“I’m a woman with a good sense of who I am and what I want out of life. I’m extremely sexual, I like that quality about myself. I make love to who I want to when I want to. My girlfriends and I are in a never ending love affair. I love to have sex for hours at a time. I have to be pleased sexually before I will even consider being in love. I have to be with a man who respects me and my decisions. I want a sophisticated lifestyle that includes sensuality. I will not separate the two. Even though I’m fun, witty, and a little silly at times; I’m nobody’s fool. I’m bold, mouthy, and opinionated. I have no problem telling a person how I feel when I feel it. I’m independent and strong. I can fight my own battles and I don’t take shit off of anyone. I don’t like to be bossed around and told what to do especially by a man I don’t love.  If a person disrespects me and becomes too demanding, there will be hell to pay. Hell has no fury as this woman scorned. If the right man comes along that appreciates the good in me and treats me like I want to be treated; I will love him undeniably and do whatever it takes to please him. Believe me our life together will never lack true pleasure. I’m a spontaneous, adventurous, and loyal lover. I keep it sexy and intriguing. I’m not jealous or possessive. Every now and then, I like to share my man with friends. I enjoy the finer things in life and won’t settle for less any longer. I’m not conventional or extremely traditional. I believe all women are free to live how we choose. I will always stay true to myself first. I’m not changing my core beliefs to keep a man. Self-love is more important than anything.

Once he finished reading, he smiled. “That’s it?” he asked. “I think I love you already” “Yeah ok, I responded. That’s what all men say. Let’s see if you can make it through the five hour audition tonight.” “I was hoping my audition was tonight. Let’s go, he said.”

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