I was His to Have via 2005

So deceived by the attraction of night
The dim lights and heavy sounds
The rhythm & blues
The constant laughter
Contagious and deluded
All unrealistic and deceptive
We play amongst the darkness
and struggle to resist its magnetism
We are awestruck with glimmering eyes by the extravagance
Dancing to its song
that’s when I laid eyes on him
It was like an eclipse
The sun darkened and worlds collided
I was swept away into this infinitely obscure universe.
Soon the space moved in slow motion
No longer crowded
It became a two person dance with
A slow and steady heart beat
And an exhale

My intentions were exact
The intent was to entice him
Objectives of a brief encounter outlined
The agenda
I wanted to give him a moment of paradise
To seize him into a sexual rapture
For a time
He would have been mine
I wanted him to taste the sweetness of my nectar
The taste penetrating his lips
The excess captured by his tongue
Savoring every drop
How he would have enjoyed
The ride
He would have sailed the seas
Of my divine waters
Deep and soft like the waves were customized and tailored for a perfect fit

The hours filled with orgasmic climaxes that would have reached a Tantric leveL and prolonged for nights
Days filled with irrepressible urges to return to my side for another encounter of firm strokes and midnight sweats
Changing scenes and concepts
Improvising and Inventing
His fingertips thrusting
My legs wrapped tightly

I had such high expectations for him
I wanted to introduce him
Open him up
Make him discover his true self
I wanted to sit up him like a queen on her throne, at the pinnacle of erection
My abdomen like the sky and he like a sharp bolt of lightning with replicating aftershocks
I wanted him to cry for me
Not from misery
But from lust
I wanted to sample his tears as my hollow swallowed the most important part of him
I wanted him to know what it means to hunger
To crave
To truly experience passion
During an age of his life

But, the night with its trickery
Its deceit
Disguising itself as an ally
Masquerading in seductive attire
with its sweet words and enchanting appeal
entranced me
Dressing this lover up in confidence
Manipulating his image
From afar
He was radiant
Gifted
His strength was like armor
He wore with assurance
He was painted sexy
and I was his to have

As the sun shined,
The music ended
The darkness crept into hiding
It all disappeared
I was left with a dream
A surreal belief
He had no depth
No real understanding
He was filled with burdens
He paraded around foolishly
Disoriented and confused
A side show to the masses
His genuine view
Repulsive
Menacing
Cruel
Resentful
dull
So deceived by the attraction of night
The dim lights and heavy sounds
The rhythm & blues
The constant laughter
Contagious and deluded
All unrealistic and deceptive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3bTQe0E_9E&feature=related

So I’ve ended all ties with any lovers I’ve had or vice versa.  Out with the old in with the new! It’s time to  make a change in my selections. As I’m walking in the mall and these gorgeous potentials strut past, before I smile back I asked myself the most important question; Are they full of drama and bullshit? Or, do they understand the rules?  Will it be hot and steamy interactions when we hook up or will it be constant annoyance? I have a reputation for dealing with bitch men or just crazy fuckers who have some kind of weird issue! There I’ve admitted it. Because I’m more logical than emotional, the most hormonal emotional ego driven men are attracted to me.  The relationship consists of more arguing than fucking. Yikes!  As soon  as I give them a little taste of the coochie, a comical crazy episode happens

Because of all these thoughts and experiences I’ve had in the last 2 years, I decided to let each candidate pass. Things have been so peaceful and quiet lately just having sex with my jack rabbit; I don’t want it to end. The other night, the orgasm was so amazing, that I almost got down on one knee and proposed. As long as I keep the AA batteries charged I might consider Jack to be the perfect husband.

But I’m not going to lie, even though I have my J. R., I’m still horny as hell! Nothing beats a real dick. I confess the truth.Lusting after these sexy ass men I keep coming in contact with is driving me a little loony! I’m hanging in there by a thread and trying so hard not become bitcher than I already am! Between the flash backs and flash forwards I can’t concentrate on anything else but getting bent over and rammed from behind.

Honestly, I’ve been talking to a couple guys long distance. It’s been  fun so far.  In fact, I ‘ll have a guest this weekend flying in. The conversations get freakier every night. I want things to go smooth between us. No egos or games that he can’t handle. I don’t mind games; they are fun as long as the contenders are good sports. I like to talk sweet and nice to a man. Whatever it takes to keep the romance; however, lately, men take me literally. As if women can’t talk game just like them. Jeez! Long distance relationships might be the best option. I like to travel and I like mystery. When a person doesn’t have access to you everyday, it seems he or she is more appreciative when you get to spend time together. Like my New York love triangle. Ooh that’s a good time every time! Xoxox to my favorite two lovers!

At the same time, it’s nice to have someone to call that lives close to keep you warm on those cold and lonely nights or someone to take you out just for fun. I don’t believe in looking for relationships, I leave that to destiny. I’m just looking for Mr. Right Now and if he is  good for me, the now part will fade away naturally.

There a lot of sexy men surrounding me, but I don’t understand them. They all sit around and claim they like the cool chick but they get mad when she is not clingy or needy. O well, I’m going out with Jonathan lets see what happens.Like usual a fine ass man will approach me. His dick will call “Emmanuelle you know you want me!” and my coochie will say “Yes! Do it girl!” And of course, I will want to pounce him like the lioness I am.  But knowing me, I will enjoy them from a distance and let them pass me by!

IN PASSING( An Ode to his sex)

Every time I see you
I’m secretly
Blowing kisses at your dick
I can tell that its pleased by each passing of me
It stands at attention and salutes
ready to attack.
You try standing in different positions to hide him from me.
But  he defeats you every time.
You breathe in
you breathe out to calm him
But I drive him wild.
So your techniques are useless.
You’ve tried a many of times to stop us
But our passion towards each other is outrageous
I just glance at him and smile
Blinded by your clothes he still sees me.
When my tongue sneaks out to moisten my lips
He rises like a cobra bowing back
preparing to sharply penetrate me deeply with his venom.
If I brush up against him
He forcefully attempts to bust of your jeans
to find his way under my dress
I’m waiting wishing
and pantyless so he can have easy access.
He is romanced by the scent of me.
He will never stop until he has me.
So I beg
for your sake
Let’s us be together.
Stop standing between us

He needs me and I want him.
I am the true object of his affection.
Night after night he dreams of me lashing out, awakening wet
calling my name.
His happiness lies in my hands.
I would hate for him to turn dysfunctional, resistant,
and never be there when u need him.
He belongs to me
To think of him aroused by any other acquaintance I grow enraged with an intense jealousy
He is mine.
No body can give him what I can.
So for now on I will aggressively try to see him.
I will reach out and grab him
Never letting go.
I will no longer allow him to just pass me by

To some women, the worst thing that could happen during sex is when a man is so turned on that he only gets in 3 to 4 strokes before he cums. In 30 seconds flat, he has climaxed and this leaves the woman unsatisfied. This has happened to me a couple of times. Honestly, it doesn’t make me think less of the man. The fact that he responds to me being wet and tight, makes me want him more. He just needs to learn how to control his orgasm. If I like him, I can teach him how to control his self.

When a man is heavily endowed sometimes he can’t help it. He continuously hits the soft wet walls of the vagina, and that’s the purpose of intercourse. But I like long and passionate sex sessions. I like different positions and slow hard strokes. It’s difficult when a man looks at a woman’s breast and ass tossing and turning in his arms; her sex faces and moans drive him sexually insane. There are some positions that will stimulate a man more than others. Before you know it, he explodes. He can practice ways to prolong his sex. First, I recommend for him to masturbate a lot. This helps his body get use to having a regular climax. Constant sex increases stamina. Or, a really fun way to help is to start off having oral sex in a 69 position. I prefer this as the first cum. Then the woman can continue to suck him until he is hard again. This doesn’t make him look like Mr. Quickie. It’s a smooth way of covering up the short imperfection. Even if he cums quick during intercourse, you can always get him hard again. I never had a problem in this department.

There a sex toys you can buy to help with the issue like a penis ring. It helps to control the blood flowing to the penis. Or, condoms with a numbing lubricate work as well. If a man is sexy with the right attributes there is no reason to dislike him for his short comings; especially when he has tasty equipment.  You just have to find ways to work around it. But honestly ladies, what’s more gratifying than a man looking at your beautiful body and not being able to control his emotions? I like it! Makes me feel sexy when I lay back and open my legs and he gets hard as a rock.  Or, when he feels my body sucking him, he busts in no time. Longevity can be attained with the right techniques. Look at it as a positive ladies.  That means you are a beautiful sexy gorgeous bitch who can excite a man in seconds!  When a man doesn’t get hard on or can’t cum, then that’s when you worry.  Who wants a dick that needs jumper cables to arouse? The worst dick is limp dick!

For the time being, I’ve decided to not date or sleep with anyone in Florida for awhile. I need a break! Tell you the truth I’m bored with the dating scene for right now! But, that doesn’t stop me from fantasizing and preparing for future sexual activities. I decided to do some kinky online shopping. I ordered a couple of naughty outfits; I purchased a policeman’s hat, belt holster, nightstick, and handcuffs. I don’t need the uniform because I plan on being naked with nothing but those few items on and of course my black thigh high boots. I ordered a diamond studded collar and leash,  a little red riding hood cape, a new blind fold, massage oils and motion lotion, pussy coupons (I haven’t passed those out in a long time), and a collection of instructional videos. I like to learn new techniques and tricks to keep them coming back.

I love being a sexy woman. Just because I’m getting older doesn’t mean I have to sacrifice sex appeal. Even after working all day and choosing not to sleep with anyone right now, I still come home and take a long relaxing bath, get perfumed and oiled up, put on my highest heels, and strut around the house naked. I light the candles, open a bottle of wine, turn on the music and put on a private show. Or, I get all dolled up and hit the town. A woman should never forget to be a sex kitten. At any age, we can enjoy sexuality.

I still take trips to Victoria Secret and La Pearle to buy lingerie on the regular, regardless of who sees me in it. It makes me feel good go to the spa and get my body massaged, exfoliated, and moisturized. And when I return home, I can’t keep my hands off of my thighs, breast, and ass. I get so turned on that I go into my draw to find my precious jack rabbit waiting there. Yes I still scream!

SEXY

I am the epitome of sexy! I’m the embodiment, from head to toe! In fact, I can sit in the sun for days until I’m purple then only come out at midnight when the moon hides behind the darkest clouds and you would still see my sexy!
I wake up to thoughts on how two improve productivity in enticement!
My walk is unstoppable! My talk well I’m sure you’ve read it!
I can make a dead man erect and make a living one extend to measure inches that he didn’t even know he had!

Have u seen my curves? Shit! I don’t even wear panties. they haven’t made a pair sexy enough to touch my body.
I’m Aphrodite reincarnated!
I’m a scholar of the Karma Sutra!
I’ve mastered the art of Tantra!
When I put my hands on a man I betcha I know what to do with it!

I speak it and I can teach it!
I can show you better that I can tell you!
You already know my sum is 360!
Yes all around the world my reputation proceeds me!
When you hear my name it vibrates into your senses traveling down into your lust!

Because of me you feel alive. So take it off for me baby
Let me see all of you.
Because through me
you’ve discovered you’re own sexy

 I know I’m going to catch a lot of shit for this. However, I have to tell the truth about a relationship I had earlier this year. I did write how younger men are only good for sex and nothing else. I kind of feel bad that I made them seem so shallow and immature since some of my good friends are in their early 20s. There is a lot of truth in what I’ve written. But, some of them are good guys so I will kind of redeem a portion of their reputations. I’ll admit that I was dating a  young guy back in March of this year. At the same time, I didn’t know he was 5 years younger than me. Hell, I assumed he was much older. He had a wonderful career and made a lot of money, He lived out west far from his southern family, and we had a really good connection. But, unfortunately assuming made an ass out of me.

He was a great conversationalist; he was cultured and well traveled. The sex was fucking phenomenal! He was gifted with his tongue and his stroke was long and strong! We went back and forth to visit each other for awhile. Even though we did things that I usually only do with a steady boyfriend, I didn’t mind the agreement we had to stay in the friendship zone. It was nice to escape south Florida sometimes. Every time I would go to visit him, he really showed me a goodtime with no drama! He handled himself well.  Still, we agreed that since we lived so far from each other it was best not to get involved in a serious relationship. All this time I never asked him his age.

Things started to get serious between us, meaning that we both started to catch feelings. But something just wasn’t right. He came to visit me for a week and it started off well. He had friends who lived here and like before when he visited, he would go out and hang with them and I would go out with my friends. But, this trip he started to question everything like why was I ok with him seeing other women. He started to interrogate me about where I was going when he was out with his friends.I just reminded him that logically, we had an agreement and it was best to keep it. From that point, his maturity level plummeted.He start telling me how stupid I was because I didn’t know a good man. He continually explained all of his qualities and why I should be kissing his ass! Really now! We would go out and he would make it his business to flirt with other women in my face to try to get an emotional outburst from me. This is when I realized that he was kind of young. Instead of him sitting down and telling me clearly how he felt, he thought a game would be better. When he realized he couldn’t upset me, he starts having tantrums. He got verbally abusive in my house. Finally, I asked him how old was he because I just didn’t understand why a mature man was not able to effectively communicate instead of having angry outbursts? When he dropped the 25 bomb on me, I thought I was actually hit with an explosive! But it made since of why he was acting the way he was.

Honestly, I don’t think he wanted a relationship. He was so young with a lot of fun experiences to be had. However, like most young egotistical men, he wanted me to give him that kind of attention because he thought highly of himself. After all, a lot of girls considered him a good catch.  They wanted him to be their man. He couldn’t understand why I didn’t have the same emotions as everyone else; typical young man attitude! Because the young women he has dated previously let their emotions get the best of them, all women have to be the same way. Cute! Young men love to talk about their standards for women and why a girl is not good enough for them. However, women can’t do the same. Again cute! Young men you’re not the only ones with game and it’s immature to think you are! Women are GA! That means game appropriators! The older women become, they learn how to control their emotions and separate love from sex. Especially after years of marriage!

Young men, as you get older you will learn that everyone is not made to be together. And just because you are a good catch to some women doesn’t mean you will be considered a good catch to all. That shouldn’t make you feel any less. But, understand that different women can want and need different things. Or, simply the time just isn’t right. For me, he wasn’t the man I wanted. And after everything I’ve been through, I can recognize it quickly. Doesn’t take long to know if a man will fit into my life and there is no need to prolong the obvious.

From time to time, I think about him. We haven’t talked in months, he left upset and hurt. I feel bad because I really liked him. However, I can’t handle someone who can’t communicate honestly instead of playing games and having tantrums. That’s too important of an issue to lack maturity. Turns me off!  His motives were not genuine. Why would a grown ass man want someone to fall in love with him if he really doesn’t want to be tied down? Young man bragging rights of course! So from now on with any younger man, I think of it as a good time and won’t allow anything else. Even though there are some older women who enjoy dating younger men, and believe me they have their hidden agendas; it may not be for me.  Too much petty drama

Right now it’s 1:30 am and I’m wide awake because I have no one to put me to sleep! I am dying for a discrete love affair. I’m very open about sex; however, my love life has been an open discussion and quite stressful. I need a private uncomplicated romance right now more than ever just to relax and rejuvenate me. I want a secret passionate encounter. Something like, we meet in a beautiful high rise hotel from time to time and we leave our inhibitions at the door. And, there isn’t a lot of boring chit chat or ridiculous interrogations; Just constant moaning. A woman needs affection and peace.  The touch and caress of a man is motivation for me, it gives me something to look forward to after a long work week. I need to feel his naked body on top of mine and his hands and mouth all over me. A 69 position is mandatory! The taste of the right man is intoxicating and required! I have to ride a man every now and then to get some of my aggression out. It’s a necessity for me to experience mind blowing orgasms. Just a 100%drama and stress free man who fucks the shit out of me!

I want it to be just between him and me. I like secret dirty text messages during the day; it makes me smile. I want spontaneous lunchtime meetings for a quick sexual connection. There has to be mystery between us. I don’t need to know everything going on in his life or I don’t desire to meet his friends. The friendship will be better if kept easy and simple but filled with passion.

 He’ll text me with the time and place; and he’ll request things like the outfit he wants me to wear or the game we are playing. Like he’ll meet me in a dark Miami club and he’ll insist I wear a short dress with no underwear. His instructions will be for me to go out on the crowded dance floor and wait for him. He will sneak up from behind in the darkness; grab me around the waist while his two fingers enter me from behind. And as we sway to the loud music, I climax hard and unnoticed! Or, we’ll meet in a restaurant during  lunch. I’ll sit at the counter, giving no eye contact like I don’t know him. I’ll get up and go to the bathroom and he’ll follow me in. He’ll get down on his knees in the bathroom stall, take off my panties, bend me over the sink, and fuck me. Maybe, a matinee movie where we’ll take oral sex turns and then I’ll ride him backwards. The possibilities are endless.

During the day, I’ll be sitting at my desk daydreaming of what’s to come. The things he does to me will cause flashbacks at the most inappropriate times like during business meetings. When I have my weekly dinner with Jonathan or my late night conversation with Janet, I’ll anxiously spill all the nasty details. I know they won’t tell. They appreciate a freaky saga!

On those nights we don’t meet, he might call while I lie in the middle of my bed, telling me to pretend my hands are his. His voice whispers in my ear dirty thoughts as I pleasure myself; giving me a reason to relax and fall asleep. Each day I’ll spend anticipating the next invitation.

My Secret Lover

I want to feel again

I want to crave and imagine every time I whisper your name

I want each hour of my life to be dedicated to thoughts of you

I see it so vividly…

As the dawn breaks,you awaken to us making love

the straddle and glide of my body taking all of  you

Or,

The softness of my lips kissing your thighs as you open  your eyes

and no one knows

During the day when we’re apart

I anticipate your call

I find my hiding place

My hands are yours

without touching

we make love

and no one knows

As the sun rests behind the horizon,

I receive your message and direction.

I am rushing just to give myself to you

I turn the key and you’re there waiting

Soon I’m laying under you

My legs open to your command

The breeze of the ocean fills the room

The candles flicker

Intensely

We make love

I close my eyes to peace

Finally

That is us….

Perfectly,

No one knows