You know they always say, that when a woman has been in bad relationships, she puts up a wall and grows bitter. When a good man comes her way, she will not recognize him because of her own baggage and will run him away. Like always the female is the one at fault with all the problems

Well I haven’t met any women like this and I’m not like this at all. What I’ve noticed even about myself, when the right man came along with all those qualities I found to be important, I had no walls up, no hurt or pain, and no baggage he had to unpack. All the women I know that had been in bad situations like me, were definitely open and willing to love again easily. Notice I used the word women. Every man isn’t the same. Grown women know this. And just like me, these women go off with their new man and leave that old nonsense behind. They don’t even want their man or relationship around past garbage. Just like me they have nothing to prove and know that nothing good will come of it.

However, I’ve met ALOT of men, including exes, that hold on to baggage from past relationships and don’t know how to let go. I’ve met men, who prejudge women before getting to know them, treat them horribly, and run the women off. I know men, that can’t let go of past girlfriends, wives, and mother in laws. As soon as they meet a new woman, they take all that old crap that happened with other women into the new relationship; which causes bad karma. These are suppose to be strong men, but present themselves like fragile heartbroken boys that a new woman has the responsibility of picking up the pieces.

I know men, that bring their new girlfriends around the old ones to keep tension going. I know men, that facebook stalk their old girlfriends and continuously talk about them with their friends. I know men that go around and spread rumors about women that have made it blatantly clear that they want nothing to do with them. If these men had the chance, would hunt down the old girl just to start trouble in her life to see her unhappy. It is the men (really boys)that act insecure and untrusting of women. Not realizing all women aren’t the same.

But again, its women that carrying around hurt and pain. Its women that bring garbage and stupid shit to men and run them off.. Again, its another situation that is a woman’s fault .. Couldn’t possibly be the trait of so called men~LIBREATEDSLUT

I took the weekend off from blogging to relax and let go. After a bottle of wine, I started to think about my relationship and what would happen if it ever ended. I wondered about how I would start over again and jump into the dating scene. Would I be on the search for another relationship? Or, would I be satisfied with my fuck buddies?  Now, in my younger years, I promoted the fuck buddy. I believed that a woman should have some one that satisfied her sexual urges between boyfriends. I’m really not interested in friends with benefits anymore,even though I still think that the fuck buddy is necessary for a girl to become a woman. I  came to this conclusion by reevaluating my past as usual. I realized another reason why my previous relationships didn’t work. I dated men that had nothing in common with me, however enjoyed my sex drive. And, what I mean by saying they had nothing in common with me, I’m talking about their ideas of a good woman and my idea of a good woman.  Now, that should be a no brainer right? But no! It’s not as simple as it sounds. You see, because of the fact we had amazing sex, they believed that they could make me into the woman they’ve always wanted. Sounds like what us females do huh?  We think that we can take a man and change him into what we want him to be. But in reality, if someone likes who they are, they probably won’t be willing to change themselves.  That’s how I felt. I realized after all the arguments, the embarrassing moments, and the hurtful motives and techniques the men in my past tried to use to change me, I shouldn’t change at all. I should only change men.  I realized that if these men could not love me how I was and they would do nasty devious things to make me change to fit their own agenda, they weren’t the men for me. That if a man really loved me, he would never do horrible things to trick me into loving him the way he wanted. A good man, a real man, would just tell me how he feels. So that we could both evaluate if I was the woman for him. And sometimes, after evaluation, breaking up is the best conclusion.

That long realization is why I’m no longer a fan of sex buddies for my life. Lonely men who are between relationships having sex with lonely women who are between relationships might not be such a good thing. Not saying that it should never be experienced. But, there should be more thought put into it before getting involved with someone.  I do not feel anyone should be manipulated into being something they are not. Nor, should they feel bad about who they are. If a man or a woman has an idea of the kind of mate they really want, they should talk to the other person they are getting involved with to see if they can live up to expectation.  Especially, if they start off as  fuck buddies.  A lonely person who hasn’t had the attention he or she has wanted, shouldn’t try to make a sex buddy that perfect someone out of desperation. And that’s what happens. When someone has been alone for a while and someone gives them sexual attention and affection, their decision vision gets a little blurry. They try to force that love they’ve desired. But you can’t force love.  As light and thoughtless as it may seem, the sex buddy situation, is more complicated.  Jeez! Age, experience , and wisdom makes me see things totally different now